By November 22, 2016 No Comments

I think I’m there. I got a second cousin hit – A SECOND COUSIN. In the adoptee DNA world a second cousin hit is the mother load.

I knew that this person and I shared great grandparents. Her grandmother’s cousin was my mother. But this second cousin match came up as anonymous.

In the DNA world ‘anonymous’ is the kiss of death. They normally test for genetic anomalies only. Any ‘Please, please, please help me find my family’ pleas most usually fall on deaf, although genetically similar, ears.

Not today.

I woke up the very next day to a message from my adorable, vivacious, enthusiastic, accepting second cousin. She offered to help. She said she would head to her grandmother’s, who grew up very close to her cousins, and would pick her brain.

It took ONE visit.

My mother was Canadian born and moved to the States where she had me. That information was recently revealed to me by the great state of Indiana. (Thanks after asking for 30yrs.). My second cousin’s grandmother happened to have a cousin who was Canadian born and then moved to Indiana where she was rumored to have given up a child for adoption.

Bad news – She passed away a decade ago. I mourned last night and into this morning. Full disclosure – I had prepared myself for that news FOREVER. What would have been worse is if she had recently passed. I try to keep things in perspective. Keeps me sane…’ish’.

I woke up (EARLY) ready to find my siblings. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. My Mom was estranged from most of her children. That was the story my adoptive parents were told and it appears to have been 100% true.

A brother is employed in the music industry, has written a book and took theatre in high school. Huh…

Mom was a Canadian beauty queen who drank too much… Double huh.

I won’t give up.

I’ve heard a sister moved back to Canada – a sister I can’t find on social media? Can we really be related??? 😀

I sense connecting will be a challenge, but what hasn’t been? I’m in it to the end. Get ready for a Canadian road trip because when the weather breaks I am heading North and going coast to coast!

This is the first time in 35 years that my heart hasn’t felt heavy with wonder.

I’m there.

Author Julie Ufema

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